she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
