a queef is a wish your heart makes.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
