i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
