tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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