doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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