How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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