Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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