And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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