walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I've blown a few things in my day
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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