where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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