can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
