Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
