Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
