You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
