Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
