Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
meet me or not, i'm out of control
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize