you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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