Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
