you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
