Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
