Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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