if you like me you must not know who I am
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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