Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
