I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
