Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
