So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
