mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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