I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
