Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize