I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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