D3 body, D1 cock
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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