you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
