Where did you get a picture of my penis
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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