is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
