I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
