He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize