So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you inspire me to be a worse person
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
