yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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