If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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