So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
