the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Sorry about my life...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize