thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
