Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
