k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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