I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize