wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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