No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize