the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
