he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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