What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
