Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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