I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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