and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
