butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
