You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize