The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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