Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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